Your First Blowjob
This page is for beginners, with information on how to give your first blowjob.
Note that the rest of this site, especially the blowjob guide, is written for mature adults in committed sexual relationships. Your first blowjob and the type of blowjob I describe in the guide are two completely different things. In the blowjob guide, I am trying to describe and teach how to give an amazing blowjob, a blowjob for the sake of a pleasing your husband, a once in a blue moon event, and one that leaves him wondering where his wife learnt how to do that!
Discovery
Your first blowjob is completely different. It's about discovering sex. It is a lot of fun but it can also be a very anxious time. Don't try or expect to give an "ultimate" blowjob your first time. It's not what your first blowjob experience is about, it's probably not possible because you need to know your partner extremely well before you can give the type of blowjob that reacts to his reactions, and putting that pressure on yourself will only make it harder.
Most of us want our first blowjob to go well. We don't want seem clueless and we don't want to make a fool out of ourselves. And of course we want it to feel good for him. But make sure you aren't doing it just for him or just to impress him. Your first blowjob isn't only about him, it's about learning how you feel about sex.
Care for Yourself
Very important for your own enjoyment and how you will feel about sex in the future is to only do what you want to do. Pressure to do things you may not want to can come from many sources - not just him but also friends, people you aren't friends with, even TV can make you feel like you need to something that you actually don't feel comfortable doing. When it comes to blowjobs, never do it unless you are comfortable and happy with the idea. If you enjoy what you are doing then he'll enjoy it too.
But before you jump in the deep end (and put a penis in your mouth), it is also very important to equip yourself with some basic knowledge! Just as important as knowing what to do (or maybe more so), you also need to know how to protect your health. A good place to start is the BlowjobHow Safe Sex Tips but don't stop there. The more you know, the better prepared you can be!
Concerns
Doing Something Wrong
The thing most people are worried about is doing something wrong. The basics of a blowjob are explained below and as long us you suck, not blow, there's little else you can actually do "wrong". Sex is experimentation and learning about your partner.
The fact is, if you have never given a blowjob before then you aren't supposed to know exactly what to do. And all men aren't exactly the same. Some like it one way, others like it another way. The fun is in learning what works for each other.
One unchanging fact in sexual relationships is that with better communication comes a better sexual experience. Talking about sex and blowjobs way before you try for real is a good start to making communication during the act easier.
What if I'm Bad
Bad blowjob stories from guys usually involve too much teeth or even biting, puking, or a girl doing it when she obviously didn't want to. Most of us know how far we can put something like a penis in our mouth. Puking, 99% of the time, is because a guy pushes on your head. Sure, it's embarrassing but really it's his own fault.
To avoid the two other versions of a bad blowjob just go cautiously so you aren't grinding your teeth on his cock - most often it's the back teeth as your jaw gets tired; and don't do it if you don't want to. Simple!
Anything else is a good blowjob.
Giving really good head is all about doing what he likes when he likes it. That means reading his reactions and adapting your blowjob to it. The first time you give head, it's not always easy to do this, especially if he's one of the quiet ones. The easiest guys to give head are the ones you've already given head to because you know each other.
The good news is that if he is inexperienced too, then he won't be able to tell you what he likes from experience because he has none. But once you start he will find it very easy to tell you what feels good - if you ask him! This is where practicing talking about it pays off (because saying this stuff out loud can be hard!).
Porn Blowjobs are Crazy
If you've seen a blowjob video then you might feel a little overwhelmed, depending on the type you saw. I really don't want to talk about porn here because real life blowjobs and porn are completely different. Porn is made for men and so the content, the way men and women are depicted and the roles they play are based on a selfish male fantasy. Real life blowjobs are emotionally intense sexual exchanges between two humans.
My personal opinion is that if you watch porn before you ever have sex, you are going to ruin your first sexual experiences. Your first everything should be about discovery, not about trying to replicate what you see on a directed, cut and edited video version of a male fantasy. In real life, how you feel and your experience counts and it should be a good one. You should enjoy what you're doing or you shouldn't be doing it!
Reacting to Embarrassment
If something strange happens that you find embarrassing, the best response is just to laugh it off or comment on it - yes, talk about it. Though it isn't a mistake, taking his penis too far into your mouth and gagging can easily happen and some people find this embarrassing. Don't worry, just laugh or make a comment like "Whoops, too much." or if it was because he pushed in, let him know it was too far.
Maybe his penis smells bad and you realize, once you've finally got it out of it's confines, that in it's present state you don't want to put it in your mouth. Even though it's not your fault, you might find it too embarrassing to say "Sorry but your penis smells - you need to wash." but this really is the best response. Just pretending it doesn't smell and sucking his stinky cock anyway will only leave you with a bad impression of blowjobs and sex.
The best reaction is usually to talk about it.
Being Prepared
Condoms! Using condoms is always the best policy. Be sure you both understand and respect that you want to use a condom.
A quick safe sex tip for beginners: putting on a condom can be difficult, but without one sex shouldn't be an option. If you are thinking of giving a blowjob for the first time, try flavoured condoms. Once you have decided you want to give a blowjob for the first time, try practicing putting a condom on him (or him putting in on himself) on a separate day prior to any other sexual activity. Once you get this down, it's one less thing to worry about!
But just being prepared with a box of condoms doesn't mean you are prepared to have sex or give a blowjob. Deciding if you are personally prepared is something only you can do. Though friends do have a strong influence on our behaviour, try not to feel pressured by what others are doing or what others expect of you.
How to Give Your First Blowjob
If you have decided you are ready to give a blowjob, but want to know exactly what to do, then here is a quick rundown. Before we get into detail, remember that you don't have to know everything right off the bat, and there is a lot of fun in learning these things together with a partner you trust.
Blowjob Basics
You have to get his cock out of his pants. Then you have put it in your mouth. (If you have talked out it beforehand with him, then he will be freshly showered and his cock will be nice and clean, even under the foreskin.)
You don't have to jam his cock in your mouth straight away. You can take some time to get to know the little guy first. See how it feels in your hand. Ask your partner if you can have a look. Every cock is different, so it's fun to see what his looks like.
When you are ready, lick and kiss him first. Go slow so you can both focus on how everything feels. Then take him in your mouth.
When his cock is in your mouth, it will be resting on your tongue. Your lips should be relaxed but making a seal around his cock. Don't try to squeeze him with your lips.
Take your time and explore how his cock feels inside your mouth. Move your tongue around it and suck it gently while moving up and down. Be careful not to scrape his cock with your teeth. The head (with the foreskin pulled back on uncircumcised men) is extremely sensitive, and teeth can really hurt.
The important features of a blowjob are warmth; wetness; and friction. Inside your mouth is warm, when you move there is friction and your saliva is the wetness. Don't worry if a little saliva dribbles out as wetter is generally better. Just spread it around with your hand.
When you put your hand on his cock, grip directly below the head of his cock and stroke down from there, and back up as your mouth does.
That's enough to start off with. Find out for yourself all the little things that work for your partner, as it can be a lot of fun. Have fun, enjoy yourself. If you really want more, try these tips and techniques
Orgasm
When a man is stimulated enough, he will come (ok, you already knew that!). So what should you do with that cum?
That is completely up to you. If he is wearing a condom you can just continue with what you are doing until he tells you to stop. You will get to feel how his penis changes through his orgasm, and you will be safe from possible diseases.
If you aren't using a condom (have you read about safe oral sex?) then you can let him come in your mouth, let him come somewhere else such as in a bunch of tissues or in your hand. If he comes in your mouth then you can spit it out into a bunch of tissues, etc, or you can swallow it. This is something you might think about beforehand or not, but don't worry if you change your mind at the last minute. Using a condom and/or deciding where his come goes is completely up to you and you shouldn't let the actions or words of others coerce you into doing something you aren't comfortable with.
He Came Too Quickly / He didn't Come
If he came very quickly from your blowjob then you have nothing to worry about. If you enjoyed it then you'll probably have the chance to try again soon.
If he didn't come from your blowjob then again, you have nothing to worry about. There is nothing wrong with a blowjob that doesn't end with an orgasm. If your guy is a frequent masturbator (and most young guys are these day, thanks to the porn providing net) then it will be harder to make him come because his penis will be somewhat desensitized.
Don't expect that you will be able to make him come the first time. It usually takes practice. For him too - sometimes guys are too nervous to come, other times their nerves make them come too soon. If he doesn't come, the biggest problem is your jaw will get tired way before he will ask you to stop.
Summary
- Look after yourself by being educated about safe sex, and by keeping condoms available.
- Think about it, are you ready? Don't feel pressured by anyone's expectations.
- Talk about it with him. Talking about it beforehand is practice for being able to talk about it during the act.
- Relax. Don't expect too much from your first blowjob. Laughter can make an awkward situation easier.
- Watch his reactions to your actions. If you think it's hurting him, ask him. If you think he likes it, ask him.
- Have fun. You should enjoy it too!
If you have a question about anything, feel free to ask me (Alle Parson) and let me know what you're worried about. I've answered a lot of questions already and am happy to answer yours.
