Question
How can I give my first blowjob without stressing about it? My fiance and I have been together for a few years and he has mentioned wanting oral. I am still a virgin and have never given one (mainly because my grandma put it in my head that any sexual act before marriage would get me a one way ticket to hell). While we haven't gone "all the way", we have messed around and I just wanna get over this hump. How do I do this without really thinking about it?
Answer
So you're starting to explore sex with a partner - a partner who's also your fiance. So you're fairly committed. At this stage, there's nothing suggesting you aren't going to spend the rest of your life with him. If you also love each other, then it's a great time for that sexual exploration to start!
My husband and I are in a long term monogamous relationship but it was a rule of mine that any time I got into a relationship, we'd both get screened for STDs/STIs very early on. It's a great way to ease your mind if you plan to engage in unsafe sex.
But, back to your question - how do you give your first blowjob ever, without stressing, without really thinking about it.
For me, my first blowjob happened because I wanted to do it. The media I consumed at the time - magazines targeted at teenage girls, obviously played their part in convincing me blowjobs were important but the thing is, in the moment I gave my first blowjob, I was horny and wanted to do it.
His cock was already in my hand, in his pants. We were making out. His fingers were rubbing my pussy and clit (over my panties) and it all had me so worked up that taking that next step wasn't too difficult.
I remember that physically moving down was the hardest part. That felt weird. We were kissing and so you're doing something, no problem. While kissing I had managed to undo his belt and his cock was out in the open. But then I had to stop kissing and reposition my body and move my head down there. I remember that felt akward, not sexy, not elegant and not natural. There was a sense of making a decision to do it - kind of like before your first kiss when you have to make that decision "Right, I'm going to move my face forward and my lips will connect with this boy's lips." and it happens.
Also, my first blowjob happened in the dark. I think this makes it very easy. It's easy to forget the rest of the world, be completely in the moment and focus on senses other than sight. (Men are known to be visually arouses, women much less so.)
So, to get over the hump of your giving your first blowjob, I recommend keeping it on your mind, think about having his cock in your mouth, and keep your eyes open for the right chance to do it. Any time that you want to do is a great time. If you try doing it when you don't really want to, it won't be as amazing (for either of you). It could be when making out on the sofa, in your car, while showering together, catching him coming out of the shower, any time!
The hardest part for me for a long time was the actual moving my head down. I found that if I already had his cock in my hand and kissed my way down his chest and stomach, I felt less awkward.
Finally, for first timers my most important piece of advice is don't worry about trying to make him come. It's great if he does come but it's much more common for first time blowjobs end with a still hard cock being zipped back into his pants. It's your first time - it's not going to be perfect but it's still going to be unforgettable!
Long story short, let it happen. Keep it in mind and when the opportunity presents itself, suck it.
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