Question
Do I have to cum from a blowjob? I can only cum with prone masturbation. The thing is, I like this girl and I want to get a blow job from her. But I jerk off by laying on my stomach and fucking my hands by moving in a humping motion. It is called "prone masturbation". The problem is, I can't cum by jerking off the "normal way". It's really embarrassing for me and I don't want to tell the girl. Are you supposed to cum when having oral? I see it in porn but is it very common in reality? I'm just very nervous and confused.
Answer
So, you have some sexual performance issues that result from masturbation and you want to know if it's OK if you can't orgasm when your girlfriend gives you head, and whether most guys come from blowjobs.
Let's talk about coming from a blowjob first. The thing about oral sex is that really, for most people, most of the time, it's simply a warm up. Sucking a cock can be arousing for a woman and help her mentally prepare for sex. It also ensures the man is hard and ready to go.
Of course, when the man returns the favor, oral sex for a woman does exactly what it does for the man. It arouses her physically and brings blood into the area. You may notice her pussy swelling, even opening. This isn't just erotic fantasy; women's vulvas really do blossom open when they are aroused. Anyway, the point is, blowjobs are usually part of the overall sexual process, not the main act. So while guys can come from getting a blowjob, they usually don't because they stop and start giving oral sex to their partner in return.
On the other hand, I think it's more common early on in relationships for blowjobs to happen simply for the sake of the blowjob. Meaning the woman wants to give her man a blowjob and see him getting off on her oral affection.
So I guess that leads to the second part of the answer. If she's giving you a blowjob and has decided she wants to make you come, then obviously she'll be disappointed when you don't. Many of the questions I get from women are about a man either not coming or not coming fast enough.
That said, I don't think either of you should look at it as a problem. Even though you admit to embarrassment about the issue, you can just admit your penis is desensitized because you've been single and self-indulging but it'll eventually get back to normal.
Then, I guess the hard part - giving up prone masturbation. You've identified it as the culprit and I think you're right. It's obviously desensitizing you and while masturbation can be really good, it's got nothing on great sex. When two people focus only on each other's pleasure, it's magic.
Good luck and some last advice - if you have any issues the best thing you can do is own up to it then change the focus from your pleasure to hers.
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